weedfairy - February 15th, 2009
calendar
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
29 | 30 | |||||
| ||||||||||
|
feeling:
 peacefuli dyed my hair saturday. it's BRIGHT red again. i dyed it outside so i wouldn't stain anything in the bathroom. i was only out there for about an hour in my bathing suit. when i came back in my mom and crystalynn told me that i got dye all over the back of my neck. i wasn't surprised until i tried to wash it off and found out it was actually sunburn. what the hell? i can stay out there for four hours and get a light dusting of freckles. i'm out yesterday for an hour and i'm pepto-pink. i don't understand. my sister-in-law went to the hospital tonight to get some kind of treatment that will soften her cervix. she was due friday and hasn't dilated at all. she goes in tomorrow for induction. i may leave work early, depending on what happens. here's all the tshirts i made for us:   also, i had a bunch of leftover stuff from making the shirts, so i stole some of my dad's underwear and made him these:  there's a little pink heart turned upside down on the front down low in the crotch. that was my brother's idea. they're like little balls. we laughed our asses off making them, and my brother has started singing this little song under his breath that my dad doesn't get is about him yet. for valentine's day my dad made my mom a handwritten card. she believes everything she sees or hears on tv, so he decided to get back at her for being ignorant. they watched a program and something came up about do's and don'ts in getting gifts for your valentine. my mom wants jewelry. she wanted it for christmas and didn't get it, then she wanted it for valentine's day and didn't get it. the don'ts on the list were tools, things to cook or clean with, etc. the do's were jewelry (my mom says YES!), chocolates (mom says NO!), flowers (mom says NO!), or a handwritten card (dad says YES!). so he made her a card. and he got all arts-and-crafts with it because it has a pop-up heart and he wrote her a poem in pencil: NO chocolate, NO jewelry NO flowers, NO dinner for two But a handwritten card says NO doubt I love you! hours and hours of hilarity. it's still funny, two days later. i can imagine him making it while he's getting coffee ready in the morning, laughing so hard at himself he can hardly write. chris is going to change out my belts tomorrow after work. we were going to do it today but he was working on another car and then it rained. $125 for three belts and an oil change sounded like a deal to me. i wish we'd done it during a time when i was less busy, but unfortunately that was also during a time when i had less money. my fake/forced period should be coming on soon, assuming plan b worked. assuming it was needed. i'm feeling it a little, but not like it's going to arrive immediately. my feet have swelled up like two fat little dumplings and it doesn't matter if i walk, stretch and move them, soak them in warm or cold water, elevate my legs....nothing works. they still feel tight and full of water. but my hands aren't puffed up too, which is weird. it's just my feet. and my now-cankles. ugh. so attractive. i've prepared for period-jello-salad by purchasing the super-tampons and the big diaper-like pads. like the kotex the school nurse used to give you that scrunched like a diaper between your legs as you walked. but with wings. this is my armor. i'm ready for battle. i keep thinking that since i can't find a boy to like then maybe i'll look around for a girl instead. and then i look around and end up having the same damn problem with the girls that i'm having for the boys. i don't like anyone. i can't even get depressed about it because it's not for lack of trying. i don't feel neglected or lonely or desperate. i know there are people out there who have feelings for me. and i'm sorry to have to teach them the same lesson i've had to learn, that sometimes it just isn't mutual. and i don't know why. the feeling that it's ultimately unnecessary for me to be with someone as long as i am close to my family is growing on me. i think the recent pictures show all over my face who i'm still in love with. it's not exactly unrequited either. i am appreciated in return. what i feel doesn't require cooperation to sustain itself. it just is, and when it's able to be expressed in the form of a messy blow job or something similar, it isn't sitting like a sickness inside me. even when it's not able to be expressed, it doesn't eat at me. i don't want to be with him anymore. i've gotten to know him better the past couple nights we've spent together, and i don't think we match in the same ways i thought we did. it doesn't change how i feel about him, but it did change what i want from him. sex every couple months is good enough for me. and awesome pictures that make me look as gorgeous as he makes me feel are really good for my ego. also, i think you have a journal, and i think you're a friend on my list somewhere. how else would you have seen that i posted a locked entry of our faces? if you don't have one and you didn't see that, you're psychic. and that scares me into submission. that picture is my desktop background and my favorite of the bunch. i love it. and i love you. i got an 87 on my math test last week. i've never worked so hard for a B in my entire life. i totally blanked on completing the square and missed a few points here and there through bad arithmetic and silly mistakes, but i got the extra credit which helped a little. i've started this weeks homework and i'm going back over parts of the homework that has stuff i missed on the test. after all of this, watch me go into law and have it not matter. no, it does matter. it's building my confidence and enabling my brain to think in a more analytical way. good job amy. extra orgasms for you tonight, for being such a good girl. | ||||||||||
| hit with me | ||||||||||
Powered by DeadJournal.com