weedfairy - September 2nd, 2009

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Posted on:9/2/09 @ 08:42 pm
Subject: on the up and up
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feeling: rawr
i still feel crappy. but the more people i talk to the more i'm finding other people are feeling the same. so maybe it really is nothing that i'm depressed about. maybe it's just feeding off everyone else that's got me down.

pretty sure i am for-real feeling pissed off at both my dads. i don't know what to do with that anger yet. i want my excessive need for validation to just go away. it won't. and i just realized that i no longer trust any men. think the anger is playing a starring role there. i'm just tired of feeling abandoned, criticized, used, misled, and/or unappreciated.

work is better. oppressively busy, but i love it that way. i'm still working overtime and just found out next monday is a paid day off. yay government holidays! there is money in my savings account again. triple digits. the edginess there is wearing off. my car is fine. so is school.

my aunt, uncle, grandma, and cousins are on a health care reform rampage. the conservative war-machine has them all fired up and consumed with fear. it's town-hall meeting night in melbourne tonight. my sister is all up in arms. i'm just nodding at our predictable flock. my sister and i are little blue flags in the middle of the red sea.

i've finished her shadowbox except for the hanging hardware. i need to use a drill other than the one in my grandmother's garage. one that isn't 50lbs, 65#+ including the heavy-ass cord. it's too much of a beast for such a simple job. i'm not hanging drywall. and it's not 1972.

the shadowbox turned out out so well i think she's going to cry. i almost do. probably why i haven't hurried up and mailed it. i want to keep it just a little longer.

my friend coined a new word this week. philosoraptor. love it.

i think part of the problem here is, in spite of being busy, i'm totally 100% bored.web stats
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